Hey PHAT Girls!

Today is #WomanCrushWednesday and I must tell you I am crushing on myself. Why? Because I feel that I deserve it and it is long overdue! While I know all too well that, no love is greater than self- love, it frequently takes a backseat because I just love celebrating other women (yeah, Kim McCarter I am owning the cheerleader). However, lately I have been doing some things that have made me very proud of myself so… Today, I’m celebrating hersheme (in my Tamar voice).

Do you know how easy it is to become a bag lady? For me it was very easy due to my loving nature, sensitive heart and desire to repair what is broken. I guess this is just me being the Cancer woman that I am. Hell, I have held on to more trash than a season of hoarders; some of it belonged to me and some of it belonged to others but it all weighed me down.

Now I know that many of you see me as this confident, bold empowered woman and for the most part, that is honestly who I am now. However, I must keep it real and tell you, that is not always my truth. I have moments of self-doubt and I have winced in the face of adversity many times. Some of those moment were brief lapses in judgement but they all fostered my growth and brought me to a greater level of understanding me.

Since I stated earlier that we are talking about me, let’s talk about the personal garbage that I carried around; fear, self-doubt and negativity. These things held me hostage and while becoming a voice for women in my community, I was living in a damn box. Not an actual box but a space that I had created for myself with boundaries that were set because of the garbage I had picked up from society. Many of these boundaries caused me to confine myself to spaces that I only found as comfortable and they discouraged me from exploring unfamiliar territory.

So yeah, amidst all my confidence and while living the life of this bold empowered woman, I begin to be weighed down by the same shit I had encouraged you to rid yourselves of. Many times, when I was talking to you about jumping out of the box, I was talking to myself as well. See the truth is, although I eventually freed up a lot of space in my head and in my heart, the bag lady in me was still hoarding a few things and those things created boundaries that kept me from slaying life in the manner I encouraged you to.

Today, I celebrate myself because I have removed the garbage that weighed me down and confined me. I find such peace in not being afraid of unfamiliar spaces. Not to mention, I truly feel like I am able to empower other women because I am free.

Now don’t get me wrong, change didn’t come over night but it came and now I am able to share what worked for me in an effort to empower you to burn the box, after you jump out of it… OF COURSE!

First thing first, GET OUT OF YOUR OWN DAMN WAY!

I had to learn that I was my biggest problem. Yeah, society has these crazy standards that exclude and tear down plus size women but absorbing that crap is optional.

And listen Linda… NO ONE IS PERFECT!

Stop counting your flaws and comparing yourself to others. Your only competition is the woman in the mirror.

Oh and… SURROUND YOURSELF WITH WOMEN WHO ARE EAGER TO SLAY LIFE TOO.

The statement, your tribe determines your vibe” is so true; make sure that your friends know, #issavibe and it must be positive.

And… IT IS JUST A STORM (thanks Clarisa’s daughter)!

Yes, life will happen and it may not always be favorable but, you are strong enough to weather the storm. Clouds come and go, the rain ceases and then comes the beautiful rainbow. Just be patient!

Last but not least… PUSH IT!

Don’t allow fear to cripple you, keep it moving. You may move at the pace of a turtle but the good thing is you are not in the same spot.

MY STYLE JOURNAL

TIE DYE SWIMSUIT : Cacique at Lane Bryant

TIE DYE COVERUP (substitute): Cacique at Lane Bryant

Floral Scarf: Lane Bryant

Most of you don’t know this but I have never worn a swim suit publicly. So these photos are the sole inspiration for this post. Yeah, I could have talked about the swimwear more but I think it was more important to share my truth in a manner that I know you could relate to.

I really hope that this encourages you to be brave and to jump out of the box.

Chime in ladies, what are some unfamiliar spaces you would like to find comfortable? What are some unfamiliar spaces you have found comfort in?

NOTE: Swimwear was provided by Lane Bryant in compliance with FTC Guidelines.